For the last 3 years, you’ve been saving up for a compact, economical and affordable car. You’ve almost saved enough and so you head to the car dealership to wet your whistle. You walk through the lot but nothing jumps out at you. There’s a used but reliable silver 2010 Honda Civic, within your price range, which is what you’ll probably end up with.
Out of the corner of your eye you spot your dream car. Freshly waxed, you can’t help but walk over, just to look. It’s got everything you could ever want! Impressive stereo system, perfect tint, leather interior and a serious engine that will make your friends envy you. You drool as your face presses against the glass.
“Can I help you?”
Embarrassed, you peel yourself off the immaculate vehicle and say, “No thank you, I’m just looking”. As your shoulders slump and you walk away you failed to see the bright red sign behind the car that says, “50% OFF”.
If only you asked.
Currently, I am living in Koh Phangan, Thailand on a remote part of the island surrounded by amazing physical and spiritual healers. Everybody I know back home in the cold and icy city of Toronto says,
“Ohhh, you’re so lucky. I wish I could be there, but I can’t afford to.”
How much do you spend a day? Let’s first work out your monthly expenses. I live very minimally but I was surprised about the amount I used to spend per month:
- Living: $1100+
- Transportation: $150
- Car insurance and maintenance: $130
- Groceries: $160
- Study snacks and teas: $80 (ekk… this is only 1 tea a day)
- Gym membership/ classes: $60
- Entertainment: $120
= $1800 per month
Which, if we divided by the average 30 days per month = $60 per day
Living here in Koh Phangan, this is what I spend per day:
- Living: $10
- Transportation: FREE… I use my legs to walk
- Meals including drinks and snacks: $12
- Yoga/ boxing class or massage: $8
- Entertainment: FREE… I have the ocean, the beach, the jungle, beach bars, internet.
= $30 per day
A savings of $30 per day.
That’s 50% OFF your dream life!
Now, I don’t say this to brag or make you feel bad about your situation or even to entice you to come live in Thailand. I want to prove a point that as humans we often want what others have. We complain about our lives and aspire to have someone else’s opportunities, when really what we should strive for is their perspective.
If you’ve ever said, “I wish I could”. Did you actually mean that? If you did, did you sit down to figure out how it could realistically be done? Or did you mean it as more of an expression?
Toxins constantly surround us: smog, pesticides, antibiotics, viruses, mercury, and lead are common toxins we try to avoid. But the worse pollutants are the thoughts and words we say to each other and ourselves.
Wishing you could have someone else’s life and not doing anything about it is the same as saying, “My life is not great and I couldn’t be bothered to change it”. But it’s not your fault!
Human nature is to crave comfort, consistency and dependability. This is why we like science and math. We desire the “randomized double-blind control studies” so that we can be confident in their reliable and reproducible outcomes. We want to know what to expect and be certain about it, whether it’s a positive or negative outcome.
My boyfriend and I have a date. We are meeting at the movie theatre for 7pm. He is always late. I know I can rely on him being late so as I wait at the theatre and look at my watch… it’s 6:50pm, I am already getting upset that he will be late.
It’s impossible for me to be excited to see him when I’m focused on being right. Proving to myself (and him) that he will live up to my expectations and repeat his past once again.
This is how most relationships begin to deteriorate. We become too focused on the negative and secretly crave the habitual disappointments so that we can justifiably complain about it. We like to be right!
But like the “randomized double-blind control studies” there are outlier and exceptions. Science cannot be 100% all the time. The Earth is constantly changing. The atoms in our bodies are constantly moving and interacting with our environment, external and internal. In every moment we are unique and our composition will never be exactly the same ever again. Whoaaa… Really?
Just the thought of a piece of warm caramel chocolate fudge cake with a scoop of vanilla ice cream can make your mouth water (I only have one scoop because I’m dairy sensitive… enough said). If the thought of dessert creates an immediate physical response of salivation, increased stomach acid production and digestive enzyme release, imagine what a negative thought does.
If you really pay attention, most people are plagued by negative thoughts. Whether you’re comparing yourself to another person, judging yourself, feeling inadequate and self-conscious or stressing about your job, family, finances and health, we are creating a physical response.
By saying “I wish I could”, you create a victim mentality which trigger a series of chemical reactions that can express themselves as depression, head aches, inflammation, acne or an easily invaded immune system. All thoughts affect your hormone response. Your perception is what augments which chemical cascade pathway is triggered.
Be compassionate to the things you want to change in your life and be excited about your present situation and self. There is an infinite number ways to perceive the same item, person or situation. This is where human freedom of choice is so empowering. You can choose what you want out of your life without disregarding your feelings.
Pay attention to the positive so that when your boyfriend shows up early to your special anniversary dinner you can appreciate the moment as brand new and be filled with all the butterflies you had when you first met.
The next time you see your dream car or job or life, don’t forget to ask if it’s for sale because it is affordable right now.
Create the opportunity and take advantage of it before it passes you by.
Photo Credit: Pixabay.com